And the Humble Apostrophe Causes Chest-Beating and Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth at Albertsons
It's come to my attention that Albertsons is suffering from a serious case of apostropheosis. A quick survey of my private-label-loving apartment reveals that some products bear the "Albertsons" mark while others read "Albertson's." My people, this is why the world needs copy editors. We're not just talking about a silly apostrophe; it's much deeper. One of L.A.'s major grocers is suffering from a crushing existential crisis. Does it want to be "Albersons": more than one Albertson? Or does it prefer "Albertson's": that which belongs to Albertson? Who is this Albertson? Why does he vacillate so on this issue of punctuational propriety? What black mark upon his soul renders him impotent when he faces this crucial decision: To insert or not insert an apostrophe?
Do you see, my people? Do you see what happens when the copy editors aren't consulted? We have nothing less than a full-blown psychic disaster on our hands. All because some brazen middle manager thought to greenlight an alternate logo without following the proper channels and procedures. Probably some hotshot fresh out of USC trying to make a splash. Instead he's caused bloody, bloody hell.
I hope this is a lesson to everyone. Copy editors are important, and you should consult them on almost all matters. God save your soul if you don't.