Dictionary Madness!!!

Pity me. At the Weekly, I use an American Heritage dictionary as my weapon and partner in spelling enforcement. But in my freelance work, I use Webster's New World College Dictionary, Fourth Edition. Big deal, you say? Think again, TOSC fans. Consider just these two crucial differences:

A.H.'s first preference is "work force" (two words), while Webster's first preference is "workforce."

Further, A.H. spells it "ambiance," while Webster's tells me it's "ambience."

And that's just two discrepancies. Then figure in that some pubs use A.P. style, others use Chicago, and all of them have their own local styles. How does one copy editor keep it all straight?

Superhuman intelligence, that's how. I don't like to talk about it much, but I was bitten by a radioactive, nerdy monkey when I was a child. Besides the fleas, that incident also bestowed upon me a preternatural ability to keep a multitude of styles and lexicographical philosophies stored in my mind at the same time.

And, no, I don't throw poop as a result of the monkey bite. That's just Craig being Craig.