Do "tie" and "Thai" rhyme?

The other members of The Other Style Council out-voted me on this one, but I cannot admit defeat.

In the secret underground lair that houses the copy desk of The Other Style Council, I dared to declare that "tie" rhymes with "Thai." Apparently, Gaines and Falling J are bent on having L.A. Weekly (and the world!) believe that these words are homonyms, not rhymes. (They're actually homophones, but that just sounds gay.)

I'd make up a poem right now, but no one would appreciate it.

OK, what the hell: "There once was a murderous Thai / who completed his wardrobe with tie / to the cops he confessed / he was way overdressed / and the jury vote ended in tie."

Not a rhyme? Please!

Finger parentheses

Making finger quotation marks to convey that you're being ironic or quoting something is both annoying and fun. So why doesn't anybody use finger parentheses? It's just as easy to curve your hands like parentheses as it is to move your index and middle fingers up and down. The next time I tell someone about the origins of the name Godzilla (it comes from the Japanese "Gojira"), I'm definitely using some finger parentheses.

Warning: Using finger quotes inside finger parentheses may be hazardous to your phalanges.