Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Insignificance of michigan

As much as I admire my esteemed colleague Mr. Gaines...and as much as I revere AP style...I must alert everyone that the times they are a-changin'...

Thus, I officially move that we have our Weekly style reflect the prevailing modern view on the once-great mitten state as detailed here in ANTM style:

http://www.cwtv.com/page/topmodel_photosView_CariDee.html

Select the "in the pool" video for the latest, most relevant viewpoint on Lansing's home.

I mean, if no one important really thinks Michigan is important, why in the hell should we capitalize it? The lakes aren't that great.

Ergo, I move that the mitten-shaped "state" and all references to it be written with a lower case "m" in our paper. For example:

"Craig claims to like sports. With the same bizarre glee, he also claims to be a michigander. However, we find this confusing because michigan is so meaningless. He should just go ahead and say he's from Texas, like all the smart, successful people do."

All those in favor, please see David Caplan, Copy Chief.

16 Comments:

Blogger Bad D said...

I think it looks more like a pork chop.

5:24 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

Leave it to a Texan to advocate for a bastardized, less literate style on a proper noun. Following your deep-fried logic, I also propose we:

1. Swap all "-ing" constructions to "-in." As in, "I'll be votin' for Bush in the next election."

2. Require the insertion of "gollee!" in every other paragraph.

3. Qualify all statements of opinion with "I do believe ..."

4. Eschew all punctuation marks except for the period. Things like the semicolon or hyphen are just too darn highfalutin.

5. Screw the first four, and just close down the paper. 'Cause there's no good to come from all that troublesome readin'.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Bad D said...

Michigan is two, two, two states in one!

(Doublemint reference from the '70s. Kiss me if you got it.)

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, that's Certs not Doublemint.

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Blogger Bad D said...

Ah, yes, you're right. I guess that ad campaign was memorable yet not especially effective.

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